Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Lesson On Giving

I recently started subscribing to Gwyneth Paltrow's newsletter, GOOP. I can't recall how I first heard about it, but I'm quietly surprised it took me as long as it did to catch on. Some of the postings do not do much for me, others inspire me to get back in to the kitchen and cook, while others have the profound ability to make me stop what I'm doing, take a metaphorical step back and think.

The newsletter sent to me today contained one of those such postings. Here I am, sitting bleary-eyed in the kitchen, my latte in hand and perched on my stool. My residual tension and anxiety from the prior day's worries are still nagging me along my neck and shoulders, so I wasn't quite feeling right. However, when I started reading down about the week's reflection on the Purpose of Giving, there was a sea-change. I can't quite explain it, but the energy of every cell in my body changed. They were moving, mending, making me whole again. It's like one's ability to heal oneself through positive thinking. Here, positive, generous thoughts are helping me shake my anxiety and regain balance. And it is working.

What I liked most about this "issue" of the newsletter was that it explored different meanings of "giving," all deeper than what your average Joe considers "a gift." It made me think about that doorman who kindly stopped me on Fifth Avenue two years ago as I was walking, in a torrential downpour, back to the crosstown bus from a meeting just to give me an umbrella. I protested slightly, wondering how I would return the umbrella, to which he replied, do not worry. How fitting it was for me to make it across town, dry, and meet a lady who was leaving my building to return to her home, but did not have an umbrella. You get, and then you give again. Keep passing the abundance, the wealth, and the happiness you receive. You look after others, and they will look after you.

I was particularly struck by Deepak Chopra's words, specifically about "charity" and generosity of spirit.  I try to live my life with these words in mind, some times losing sight or connection with true generosity of spirit. But, I guess it takes time. Practice. Mindfulness. 

I hope you read on, and enjoy.

"From Deepak Chopra:

It's not just giving, it's the spirit.
I'd like to talk about the hidden side of giving.  People have a vague feeling that God favors those who give. Since Jesus said that it is more blessed to give than to receive, tithing became an established practice in Christian life. In India the focus is on karma -- in order to offset their bad deeds, people want some good karma, and giving to the poor is a way to do that. Still, as religious practice fades in every society, giving has become more secular. Few people feel secure in their conviction that giving has spiritual meaning.
I think that East and West are offering the same piece of wisdom: it's not what you give but the spirit in which you give that counts.  At the level of the soul there are really three levels of giving:
  1. Quid pro quo: you give in order to get something back. Whether you want a bit of good karma or a smile from God, the spirit here is selfish. Tit for tat is the rule. The giver expects to be appreciated. Big donors, whether to a political candidate or a prominent charity, expect to be noticed and praised. In small ways we all harbor a selfish part of ourselves. Imagine how you'd feel if you gave a lavish Christmas present to someone and received nothing back, not even a word of thanks? Suddenly, the act of giving would turn sour.  When you give in order to add to your self-image, the act may be generous, but the spirit isn't. It's even common for this kind of giving to involve a good measure of guilt.
  3. Charity from the heart. This is giving out of love. The word "charity" comes from the Latin "caritas," or love.  In early Christianity caritas became one of the three great virtues, along with hope and faith. By the time of St. Paul it already meant charity in the modern sense, but the spirit of love was always understood. One gives as a child of God to another child of God. In this spirit there is no expectation of return.  One may give anonymously or to strangers.  Charity is selfless. It leaves the ego aside, if only briefly, with one intent in mind: to add to the sum total of love in the world. The spiritual significance is to expand the heart.
  5. Giving everything that you are. This is true generosity of spirit.  There is no separation between giver and receiver. You offer up your whole life, and in return life makes you more whole.  This isn't just a mystical wish. Once you realize that everything comes from the universe and goes back to the universe, there is no need to make giving be about "me."  Possessing nothing, you can give everything. You know that the universe has infinite resources; therefore, life itself can be based upon giving.
Looking around, one realizes that giving everything is the most natural way. You and I are here because Nature stinted in nothing. The air, the sky, the plant and animal kingdoms enrich the earth freely. The creative source that gave rise to life allowed single-celled algae and bacteria to evolve into the human brain, the most complex structure in the known universe. When the spirit of life really sinks in, and we realize the incredible gift we've received, the only possible act of appreciation is to give back with equal generosity.
In other words, giving should be twenty-four hours a day. At the level of spirit you can give of yourself completely. That's the goal we are all evolving toward. At certain moments we sense this, all of us. A mother's attitude toward her infant child is one of complete giving, out of wonder that new life has become hers to nurture and protect. In expanded form, this attitude becomes Ahimsa, a Sanskrit word often translated as "reverence for life." As a doctor I also like the definition for "harmlessness," because a physician's first duty is to do no harm.  When you revere life, violence disappears, and it is only natural to do no harm.  You are linked to all life, and by magic, every gift you give becomes a gift to yourself.

Deepak Chopra is the President of the Alliance for A New Humanity"

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